On this episode of Straight Up With Stassi, Beau and Stassi talk about lies, RHONY, and therapy.
“Experience that, know it, and let it go.”
“So, at the end of the summer, or in the fall or something, Beau was like, ‘Do you think we should go to therapy?’ Because, well, I turn into a pumpkin sometimes at midnight,” Stassi explains. “Well, I used to. It’s been like a good six months since I’ve had one of my drunken freak outs. I don’t think it’s really therapy that did it, but maybe. Who the fuck knows. So we started going to therapy and basically just talked about me the whole time, which was fuckin’ annoying, and then we stopped really going because we don’t have anything to talk about.”
“He kind of guides us through it,” Beau says.
“We don’t really have anything to complain about,” Stassi explains. “I kind of figured out my dark-passenger-freaking-out-drunk-midnight shit.”
“We’ve been arguing well,” Beau adds.
“We just talk it out,” Stassi says. “So we’re like, ‘Alright, we’re boring, what do I have to say? Why are we going to spend all this money on therapy?’ So, today, when we were having one of those moments, we decided, ‘Let’s just go.’ We got everything else done that we needed to do. We were like, ‘What are we going to talk about?’ And I’m like, ‘I don’t know.'”
“He asked, ‘How’s everything?’ And we’re like, ‘Great.’ Thank God for therapy because if he wasn’t trained, he would have been like, ‘Hmm,'” Beau laughs.
“So, this is what I want to talk about, and this is what annoys me,” Stassi says. “What happened is we went to therapy and he asked, ‘Is there anything pressing that you guys want to talk about?’ And we were like, ‘No,’ and he’s like, ‘Okay, that’s good,’ and I’m like, ‘Honestly, I don’t know what to say. There really is nothing to talk about. He’s messy and he doesn’t wash off the dishes and he doesn’t put them in the dishwasher. It’s so easy to do. I don’t know what else to say.’ And then what he did is he started asking questions that brought up old past things that don’t have anything to do — I personally don’t think — with our relationship.”
“You’ve been going through different emotions with the book coming out, you have the podcast stuff, and there’s so much going on with your stress level, where what he ended up finding out was a fear of not succeeding or something like that, or always winning. So just from that, just from asking certain questions about what that was, he started asking other questions. That’s why it went from couples therapy to more focused on you and other emotions and feelings that were going on that weren’t related to us,” Beau says.
“Okay,” Stassi says. “But I question this — and I encourage listeners to write their own experiences with therapy on my Facebook group or tweet me or something — because I’ve realized that I’m not the biggest fan of therapy. I feel like I’m happy every day, and then I go to therapy and I have to talk about something that happened years ago, and then I get sad, and I’m like, ‘Why would I freely choose to make myself upset?'”
“Well, because people, when they go through sadness or something, they either block it off or they don’t address that pain, so a lot of people just shut it down, but then that pain is still there,” Beau says. “That issue that you had a long time ago, you might not focus on it, but it’s still there. It’s still in the back of your head, so certain things might trigger that old feeling to come back. When you’re the dark passenger, it’s sadness, but you don’t like getting sad, so you mask it with anger. What I said today was, ‘You’re just a little girl with a really scary mask on trying to hide your sadness and you turn your sadness into fear.’ So that sadness gets blocked off and shut down, but it’s still there, and something will release that sadness and it’ll turn into anger. Addressing the sadness, addressing the anger, or the pain, is good — to experience that, know it, and let it go.”
“So, you’re glad we went today?” Stassi asks.
“I am,” Beau answers.