On this episode of Straight Up With Stassi, Katie Maloney-Schwartz and Taylor Strecker join Stassi in New York City for an unplanned podcast during their visit to the city for NYFW aka New York Fashion Week.
“This looks like some Star Wars shit.”
“It’s a little bit of a weird sitch,” Stassi begins. “Let me just explain real fast. I accidentally sent in the wrong podcast episode to my company yesterday. Then I got on a plane to go to New York. I arrived here this morning and they made me aware of that situation and said, ‘Can you record another one and send it to us?’ So then Taylor had to go get Matt, (shoutout to Matt) her manager, to get podcast equipment.”
“Which, by the way, he bought when I used to be at Sirius because we thought we were going to do a podcast and then we realized it was against my contract,” Taylor adds. “So this has been sitting in his closet for, I don’t know, a year and a half?”
“So Matt dropped this off and Taylor spent probably an hour figuring out how to work it,” Stassi says. “This is the most… this looks like some Star Wars shit. There are so many dials.”
“You’re about to fly an airplane or something,” Katie says.
“That is exactly what it looks like,” Stassi says. “This is helicopter crap. Not crap — this looks really high tech.”
“I’m a board op,” Taylor laughs. “I have these glasses — these are like the Taylor Kitsch glasses he wears playing David Koresh.”
“Those are such lesbian glasses,” Stassi laughs, “and I can say that because you’re a lesbian.”
“You would have been Jaxed by now.”
“Because you live in California,” Taylor defends herself.
“Visit.” Stassi says.
“Now I will,” Taylor says. “Now I can!”
“I feel jealous,” Stassi says. “I feel this weird jealously. I’m like, ‘I’m sorry, you only know them because of ME.’”
“If you guys lived here, I would be with you every second of my life. Are you kidding me?” Taylor asks. “But you guys aren’t here.”
“You would just be on ‘Vanderpump Rules,’” Katie says. “You would have quit Sirius a long time ago and then you would have been Jaxed by now.”
“100%!” Stassi yells. “She would have been Jaxed by now. Absolutely.”
“But with all of my lesbian tendencies?” Taylor asks.
“You would have been Jaxed in a different way,” Stassi explains. “In the same way that Katie’s been Jaxed.”
“How did he Jax you?” Taylor asks Katie.
“Oh, let me count the ways,” Katie begins. “He tried to break me and Tom up, he spread a rumor that I motor boated some guy’s crotch. He actually forced Tom on another woman. So yeah, I’ve been Jaxed in some pretty significant ways.”
“I had a different definition of Jaxed,” Stassi says.
“You got the ultimate Jaxed,” Katie says.
“Super burrito Jaxed,” Taylor adds.
“Gross,” Stassi responds. “My definition of Jaxed is like, he wins you over, and then fucks you over.”
“The only time I ever met Jax was at Sirius when I interviewed you and him,” Taylor says to Stassi. “I don’t know if maybe that’s the reason why, but I’ve been with you guys with him a handful of times, and he acts so whack around me. He can’t even say hello. The last time I was leaving a thing and he was there I was like, ‘Bye Jax’ and he was like, ‘Uh, your girlfriend is hot.’ And I was like, ‘Thanks,’ and he was like, ‘Bye.’”
“He’s like that with me and he’s like that with everyone around me too,” Stassi says. “Anyone who’s, like, my friend.”
“I think he thinks, ‘Oh, you’re Stassi’s friend so you probably hate me,” Katie explains.
“That’s what I mean,” Stassi agrees.
“Correct,” Taylor laughs.
“Anyone that’s had a friendship with Jax over a period of time and then he does you dirty — that’s being Jaxed,” Katie clarifies.
“Okay, I would have been Jaxed,” Taylor decides.
“I feel like that should be in the Urban Dictionary by now,” Katie adds.
“That’s so not fair that he’s going to get a fucking Urban Dictionary verb,” Stassi says. “That will kill my soul.”
“If you keep it up, you’ll have one too,” Katie warns.
“How do I get a Stassi’d? What would that be?” Stassi asks. ��Pull a Stassi? When you freak out on your birthday.”