On this episode of Straight Up With Stassi, Stassi and Beau recap their time in Amsterdam, Bruges, and Brussels — which included catching a sex show in the Red Light District of Amsterdam.
“You’re my princess in the morning.”
“I cut our sex show short because I had a… temper-tantrum?” Stassi says.
“Yeah, that’s a good word,” Beau agrees.
“A good word is temper-tantrum,” Stassi laughs. “This will be a good discussion for people to listen to because it’s a relationship discussion. So, I was all amped on going to this sex show, this was my idea, I really wanted to go. The fifth act was two girls that were all tatted up, and I got all insecure because I’ve always thought that Beau’s type was the opposite of me. This black haired — or brunette — pale-skinned, tattooed, alternative woman. It was in my brain because Kristen Doute has always told me, ‘Yeah, I showed him your Instagram and he said no.’ We always joke about it and talk about it. But then she said you showed her an Instagram, two years ago, of a girl that was all tatted up and said, ‘This is who I want to date.’”
“We’ve never talked about it, so it’s always just been in my head, and I never really said anything to you because, when do you ever actually bring that up?” Stassi continues. “It’s not a big deal. But I’ve always had this in the back of my mind, because yes, I know how much you love me, I know how much you’re attracted to me, I know all of that. And I feel so loved, I feel all of those things. You make me feel very safe in our relationship. But there’s always still that thing in the back of my head like, ‘Oh, am I not what he’s into?’ So then, when we’re at a sex club and I’m wasted and I see two tatted up chicks, what I’ve always imagined you would pick out if there was a line of girls, I’m like, ‘Oh my God,’ and I lost my mind. I said, ‘We’re leaving, fuck this.’”
“Yeah, and I had two drink tickets still left to drink at the sex club,” Beau says.
“That’s the worst part of the story,” Stassi says. “But I feel like this is good to talk about and for people to hear because I’m sure a lot of couples go through this. Everybody meets in different ways, but sometimes a girl or a guy will stalk their partner’s exes and say, ‘Oh my God, I don’t look like any of their exes, am I even the type of person they want to be with?’ People can get in their heads.”
“If you line up all of my ex-girlfriends, or people that I’ve dated, none of them look anything like each other, or none of them even look like tattooed, black-haired girls. I love gothic people, but I don’t necessarily want to date them. But also, I might have been fucking with Doute. I’m always sarcastic, I’m always being dumb. I remember when Doute showed me your photo, we were at a party in Venice with a friend, and I was just, who knows, I was being obnoxious. I’m very obnoxious, you know that. So whatever I told Doute two years ago that affects you, I’m sorry.”
“No, you don’t have to say you’re sorry,” Stassi says.
“I’m not saying it in the sense that I’m apologizing, but I’m just sorry it affects you, and I’m glad it came out,” Beau clarifies.
“I think this is a deeper conversation to be had, that, even if all of your exes looked a certain way and I didn’t, that technically doesn’t matter,” Stassi says. “Women and men should be aware of it, that that doesn’t matter. But it’s so much easier said than done. It’s easy to say that and know in your brain that it doesn’t matter. But when that little devil on your shoulder sneaks in…”
“That’s what I wanna do, is to make sure that your little devil never says that shit. That’s why I always reaffirm you with kind words, and how I feel about you, and affirmations and saying, ‘This is how I feel about you,’ and ‘You look good today.’ I tell you, when you wake up in the morning and put on your glasses, you’re my favorite. Yes, you look gorgeous when you put on your makeup and you get dressed, but the way you look in the morning is my favorite. You’re my princess in the morning.”
“Oh, that’s so sweet,” Stassi says.
“Yes, you look gorgeous when you put on your makeup and your lipstick—“
“I know,” Stassi interrupts, and they both laugh.
“But I love you in the morning, with your strawberry freckles and your glasses and you have no makeup on and maybe one of your hair tracks is on the pillow next to my face because it fell out, or you left it there for me to wake up next to,” Beau says.
“Thank you,” Stassi says. “I just want you to know that it’s not your fault.”
“No, I know it’s not my fault,” Beau says. “I just feel like if people have certain things or certain insecurities about their partner, people just need to talk, man. You have shit, and yes alcohol helps it come out, but alcohol shouldn’t help it come out in a way where it’s in public, where you’re having a good time, or at a bar—“
“Or at a sex show,” Stassi adds.
“Where we had two extra tickets,” Beau reminds her.
“The drink tickets will haunt me forever,” Stassi sighs.
“My mom always says that you just need to talk,” Beau says. “If you hold shit in, and then let it build up, all of the sudden, boom, it explodes. It’s just not a great way to have communication in a relationship.”
“You are such a therapist’s son,” Stassi says. “I’m like, ‘Alright, I don’t even know what to say to that.’ Because yes, you’re right. You’re right, you’re right.”