On this episode of Straight Up With Stassi, Stassi closes out 2018 with a special solo podcast episode.

“Given that this is the last episode of 2018, I felt, ‘You know what? I think it’s the right thing to do, to have a steam of consciousness solo ep. So if you enjoy these types, then you’re welcome. If not, byesies. See you next time in 2019.

Speaking of that, don’t you strongly dislike when people say, ‘See you next year’? Oh my lord, how I cannot stand it. Just say happy holidays, or happy new year. Just say that. Whenever somebody says, ‘See you next year!’ they literally say it with the same smug satisfaction as if they think they’re the only person that’s ever thought about saying, ‘See you next year!” If anyone ever comes up to me and says, ‘See you next year,’ in a non-ironic way, I swear to God I’m going to backhand you.

With that said, happy holidays! Whatever it is you were celebrating, I hope you had a wonderful time. I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about the holidays and what it means. It was the first time I brought my boyfriend Beau back to New Orleans. He had been there before, and he’s met my whole entire family before, but there’s just something a little different about the pressure of the holidays that already began, like, four months ago, when we began the conversation of, ‘Where should we go?’ Should we go see his family? Should we go see my family? Should we do both? Half and halvesies? And if we do both, do we bring the dogs? Do we have a sitter for the dogs? How much money is that to go to two different places? And then I’m like, ‘Oh my gosh, all of this is legit giving me anxiety.’

And then I’m like, ‘Is that because I have a boyfriend that I’m bringing home?’ And then I’m like, ‘No.’ I get anxiety around the holidays every freakin’ year. Every single year. Even when I go home alone. Even when I’m single. It just kind of stresses me out. And the holidays are my favorite time of year, which is super unfortunate, and when you think about it, kind of strange that I’m complaining about the holidays, while also saying that it’s my favorite time of year.

Let me explain why the holidays are my favorite time of year. I love Christmas, I love Christmas trees, I’m a basic bitch, I love the smell of pine, wintery stuff, you can cover up your body so it’s totally okay to be six pounds heavier than your normal weight. I love the spirit of everything, twinkly lights, you get to eat a shit ton, you get to drink a lot. What is not to like about the holidays?

I’ll tell you what’s not to like. Pressure. Pressure, pressure, pressure.

Because when you come home from the holidays, everyone’s like, ‘How was the holidays? You went home to New Orleans? It must have been the best thing ever! I saw your Instagram stories, it was so fantastic.’ Yeah, parts of it were so much fun. But mainly? Mmm. It’s kind of stressful. Because you’re dealing with a lot of family members you didn’t choose to have as family members. You love them all, you love the friends of the family members, the step-family members, the cousins, the step-cousins, the, ‘You didn’t know that this person married this person and they had these seven kids?’ No, I had no idea who this person was, nor will I probably ever see them again, so why does it matter?

The pressure of all of that, and having to fly home on an expensive-ass flight in an airport that is so freakin’ busy so that everyone can ask you all of these questions that you’re not prepared to answer… like, what? What? What? What? And I am not a scrooge or a bah-humbug person whatsoever. I will repeat myself over and over again while I talk about the holidays… I love them. And January is my least favorite month because it means that Christmas is over. That really gets me sad, like, I don’t want to take down my tree and all of that stuff. But it confuses me how the holidays turned into something that stresses pretty much everyone out.

Whether you are being forced to fly somewhere, to spend a lot of your money to go someplace, or whether you’re being forced to host the holidays… (God bless those of you that are hosting, like, woah. You guys all deserve freaking medals.) But there’s a reason that all of the Christmas movies and holidays movies that we watch are about families that are stressed out, because we are all stressed out. What gifts to give people, if you actually have to give a gift, is this person going to give you one so you have to get them one? Honestly, for the most part, unless it’s your significant other, or your children, or your mom maybe, you’re like, ‘Uhhh, do I actually get that person a present?’ Do they actually even care? Do I write them a card? Do I write a significant amount of stuff in that card? Or do I just sign my name? Do I sign my name Stassi & Beau, or do I let Beau sign his own name? I personally like when it’s all in the same handwriting, but that’s just because I’m a neat control freak.

So I have all of these thoughts that have been going on in my head throughout the holidays. It’s like, I love holidays, I love New Orleans, I love my family, but put those three things together, and I’m stressed out the whole entire time. I pretty much just sleep ’til noon, wake up, sneak down and get some spiked eggnog, or put a beer in my boxer shorts and run upstairs because it’s just way too much talking and stuff going on. I’m emotionally, mentally, physically drained.

And I know you feel the same. Even if you had the best Christmas ever, or the best whatever you celebrate ever, I know that you were stressed out a little bit.


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