Hungover & Hurting with Beau Clark

On this episode of Straight Up With Stassi, Stassi and Beau chat about Las Vegas, Daily Mail hot topics, and listener questions.

“They can’t go work at Starbucks.”

“I want to talk about a few things that I saw on Daily Mail,” Stassi says. “So, Meghan Markle, my fave, my biatch, and Prince Harry, they’re moving into Frogmore Cottage. Maybe they’re there now, I don’t know.”

“Love the name of that, Frogmore,” Beau says.

“Right? So they live in this place, and it’s not a cottage,” Stassi explains. “It’s like a million bedrooms and all that stuff. It’s like a fuckin’ mini palace. But, they’re using the tax payers money, which the royal family does. It’s not like they work, do you know what I mean?”

“Really? I didn’t even think about that,” Beau says.

“It’s a monarchy. Where else would they get money to do that?” Stassi asks. “I’m here to argue the other side. A lot of people have the same reaction that you do, where they’re just like, ‘Fuck this, this is what I’m paying for so they can live in a grand place and spend all this money?’ Yes. Because you guys want a royal family. If you want to continue the tradition that’s been a part of your country’s history for forever.”

“Have they voted on that?” Beau asks.

“Yeah, that’s why they also have a prime minister,” Stassi says. “The royal family isn’t making government decisions, it’s a part of history. It’s what Great Britain is. And so if you want to keep that history… which, British people love their history. We were watching a movie the other day and a lawyer was still wearing one of those wigs in the courthouse. They love tradition. I love tradition too, so I get it. I love the idea of a monarchy — it’s just so fun, and you feel like you’re a part of history and you’re keeping it alive. So, if you want that, you have to pay for them, because they can’t go work at Starbucks.”

“So, they live in this awesome mansion-y house, it’s not a fuckin’ cottage,” Stassi continues. “They probably named it a cottage for image reasons. But this just came out today — they gave all of their neighbors a dos and don’ts list.”

“Not just them, the government, or the monarchy, whatever,” Beau adds.

“Yeah I don’t think Meghan went and wrote it with a permanent marker,” Stassi laughs. “But on this dos and don’ts list, all I read were the don’ts, I didn’t see any dos. It was: You’re not allowed to talk to them, you’re not allowed to ask about Archie or ask about seeing baby Archie, and the best one is, you’re not allowed to pet their dogs. And honestly? Goals.”

“Yeah, I get it,” Beau says.

“If I could give all my neighbors a list saying, ‘Don’t talk to me, don’t ask about anything, don’t pet my dog unless I offer it up first,’ I would. Because I like to be left alone,” Stassi says. “Yes, I love my neighbors. I’m surrounded by great neighbors, I’m very, very lucky. And I like talking to them, on my own time. When I’m in the mood. Because there’s nothing worse than taking the dogs out early in the morning when I’m not with it yet, and someone comes, pets the dog, and wants to talk, and I’m like, ‘Now is not the time.’ I’m not trying to be a bitch, I’m just not awake yet. So everyone is being like, ‘I can’t believe they gave a rule that we’re not allowed to pet their dog.’ I understand that rule more than anything.”

“Once our pups pass away,” Beau says, “we should just get two really ugly dogs that no one would actually want to pet.”


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