Just Call Me “Mrs. Joffrey Baratheon” (feat. Lo French)

On this episode of Straight Up With Stassi, fairy godmother Lo French meets up with Stassi to answer some Khaleesi questions.

“Marry King Joffrey and run him in circles.”

“We used to play this game where I would categorize all of the incoming questions, and I kind of did that again,” Lo explains. “But also there are some really random ones that I’m going to interweave in between. We’re going to start with one of those. Marry, fuck, kill.”

“Like it,” Stassi says.

“Ready? Ramsay Bolton, King Joffrey, Lord Baelish,” Lo says.

“Oh, fuck me!” Stassi laughs.

“This comes from Alessia,” Lo says. “So good.”

“Joffrey and Ramsay are the worst, so let’s start with that. Baelish sucks but he’s not as violent as Ramsay and Joffrey.” say Stassi. “Not directly…” interjects Lo.

“Let’s go with kill Ramsay. He’s out of there. But ew… I’d actually rather fuck Ramsay if I had to fuck any of them, let’s be honest. This is the hardest one I’ve ever been asked,” Stassi says. “Lord Baelish would be too hard to deal with. If I was married to him I’d have to constantly be like, ‘What is he up to now? Conspiring against me, I’m gonna die.’ I’d rather be married to Joffrey so I could physically go at him.”

“I feel like you could out manipulate him, too,” Lo adds.

“But I really don’t want to have sex with Lord Baelish. I might kill Lord Baelish,” Stassi decides. “Have sex with Ramsay and then he’d be gone, and marry King Joffrey and run him in circles.”

This is basic, basic, basic – I’d play ANY character in Chicago

“That was a good one,” Lo applauds. “If you could be in any musical as any character, who would it be any why?”

“What! That is so hard,” Stassi says.

“I love it when people make you pick one thing because you’re so bad at at,” Lo laughs. “This is from Bri.”

“Ok Bri, I’m narrowing down my favorite musicals, but then there are other characters in other musicals that I like. For the sake of time, I’m narrowing it down to two,” Stassi says. “I would be in the musical Aida, but I wouldn’t be Aida, I would be [Amneris] who sings ‘My Strongest Suit.’ I’ve always been obsessed with her character. Or… this is very basic. Basic, basic, basic. Any character in Chicago. All the characters are so fun. Think about it. Honestly, reality stars play them all the time off Broadway.”

I want to put on a shooooow!

“Samantha wants to know, what are you looking forward to most on your podcast tour?” Lo asks.

“Honestly, I can just say that I’m really nervous about my podcast tour,” Stassi explains. “I don’t even know what to be excited about because I’ve never done a podcast tour before. I feel like it’s going back to the days when I used to do musical theater in high school. When Beau and I talk about it, we’re like, ‘Okay, let’s plan a tour. What are you gonna do? What are we gonna do? What’s gonna happen?’ I’m like, ‘I want to put on a show. I want do a shooow!'” Stassi sings. “‘Jazz hands.’ I’m most excited about putting together a show. I don’t just want to sit there with my headphones on and have a conversation. I want to try and make it something where people are like, ‘Oh! I just saw a show!’ And I think that that is something creative that I haven’t done — a creative muscle I haven’t exercised. That’s what makes me most excited.”


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