On this episode of Straight Up With Stassi, Katie Maloney-Schwartz drops by to chat about Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin, bridezillas, and wedding etiquette.

“That’s called the learning curve.”

“Listen, this whole marriage epidemic is freaking me out,” Stassi says. “There is a wedding/marriage epidemic. Or maybe I’m just now at the age where everyone is getting married, except Hailey Baldwin is 4 and Justin Bieber is 14.”

“It’s pretty standard that once you get into your thirties, all of your friends are getting married and having babies and it’s everywhere you look,” Katie says. “You think it’s an epidemic, but it’s also just life. That’s just around the age that people are doing those things now.”

“You’re right,” Stassi agrees.

“But yeah, no, they’re super young,” Katie says. “Like, did you know yourself very well at 21?”

“I still don’t know myself,” Stassi answers. “The person I was at 21? You always think you know yourself. The older you get, the more you realize you have no idea who you are.”

“I’ve always felt a strong sense of self, but I was really, really wrong for a long time,” Katie says.

“Yes!” Stassi agrees. “Same.”

“I always think it’s so much wiser to wait until you’re just a little older, when you’ve figured out some things,” Katie says. “Not everything, obviously, but your frontal lobes have formed, your decision-making skills are nice and sharp…”

“‘Your frontal lobes have formed,'” Stassi quotes Katie. “That’s such a good line. You need to put that in your back pocket and save that for an argument one day. That’s good; that’s clever.”

“Yeah, no, but that is true!” Katie continues. “That doesn’t happen until you’re around 25-28, typically.”

“Did you research this?” Stassi asks. “Or is that just when you feel like you got to that point? Or did you actually Google, ‘When does your frontal lobe form?'”

“That’s science that says that,” Katie says. “For some people maybe it happens a little later, or a little earlier, but that is a general time.”

“That would make sense in my brain,” Stassi says. “I feel like maybe at 28 I got better. But every year that goes on, I’m like, ‘Oh my god, I’ve been a fucking moron my whole entire life.'”

“Not the whole time, but there was a good chunk of time there,” Katie laughs. “That’s called the learning curve. You’ve gotta go through that cause that’s how you learn. If you continue to keep making those bad decisions, you’re not learning anything; you’re not growing. You’re just being ignorant and stupid.”

“How funny will it be if Hailey Baldwin and Justin Bieber are together for a really long time and they prove us all wrong, and we’re all just a bunch of dicks?” Stassi asks.

“That would be great,” Katie says. “I do think they’re a cute couple.”

“Brides scare the shit out of me.”

“Did you see that post on Daily Mail?” Stassi asks. “The woman who was having a wedding in Thailand…”

“No…” Katie says.

“This is an actual thing,” Stassi says. “Someone in a random state somewhere, this woman, posted a Facebook post saying, ‘At the risk of sounding entitled, I have to vent today.’ I’m not going to say the whole entire thing because this is all summarized, but they have quotes in it. So basically she invited 150 guests to her wedding in Thailand, and it was going to cost $3,000 per person to go to this destination wedding.”

“Oh my God,” Katie sighs.

“She goes, ‘Only 9 people RSVP-ed out of 150. Okay, I get it, paying $3,000 to share my special day is too much for some of you, but I’d pay for yours. Whatever.’ Then it goes on to say that she changed her wedding venue. ‘I changed my wedding venue to Hawaii, which saved wedding guests a whopping $1,000. Only 7 of you RSVP-ed.’ So they lost two people.”

“Those two people just wanted to go to Thailand,” Katie laughs.

“Totally,” Stassi agrees. “She goes, ‘It costs less, but less of you want to come? Is that what you think of blank and me? You can’t spare $2,000 to come share our happiness? I’m tempted to just elope and not let any of you be a part of our happiest day. This is it, guys. You have three days to respond to our e-vites, or we’re deleting you off of Facebook, and good luck keeping up with our lives then.'”

“Oh…” Katie reacts.

“What!” Stassi yells.

“Wow…” Katie says.

“I thought that was the ending,” Stassi continues. “She ends it with, ‘And don’t get me started on the registry. Only the cheap stuff is gone. I swear I thought I had better friends.'”

“Oh my godddddd,” Katie laughs. “Wow.”

“Yeah,” Stassi say. “Brides scare the shit out of me.”


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