On this episode of Straight Up With Stassi, Beau joins for a hungover chat about ‘The Real Housewives of New York,’ body image, and Armageddon.

“The truth hurts.”

“Hello America, this is the Beau show, welcome to the hungover palace of doom,” Beau begins, in a deep, fake-radio-show-host voice.

“Oh my God,” Stassi groans. “Seriously?”

“Yeah, that’s what you get,” Beau replies.

“Okay. Welcome to ‘Straight Up With Stassi.’ It’s not the palace of doom…” Stassi starts to say. “Actually…”

“It’s the hungover palace of doom,” Beau corrects her.

“I want my apartment to be known as the Palace of Doom,” Stassi decides. “I do like it. I thought I was gonna be like, ‘Eh, that fell flat, but like, no.'”

“No, I’m a creative AF person,” Beau says.

“From now on, I’m just going to start saying, ‘Dracarys, bitches, welcome to ‘Straight Up With Stassi’ straight from the Palace of Doom,'” Stassi says. “Are you really hungover?”

“Yeah,” Beau says. “I feel like how you look right now.”

“That is rude AF, because you know what? I woke up this morning, and I was like, ‘Hmm, I’m having a pretty day.’ And then you come and get into bed and you’re like, ‘Oh, you’re hungover aren’t you,’ and I’m like, ‘No, I’m not.’ And you’re like, ‘Your eyes look like you are.’ No bitch! That’s just period eyes. That’s just menstrual pain eyes and that is rude AF,” Stassi retorts.

“Well, the truth hurts,” Beau says. “My bad.”

“You’re a dick-wad,” Stassi says.

“You’re a…” Beau starts to say. “I don’t want to say it because you’ll claw my eyes out when I’m not looking.”

“Our love will just grow, as our bellies will grow.”

“This is the thing. There is no better show on Bravo, besides ‘Vanderpump Rules,’ than ‘Real Housewives of New York City,’ and I think you know that,” Stassi says. “My initial question was — do you think we’re going to fall into a bad slump that will then ruin our relationship because we now spend so much time just sitting on the couch, you playing Zelda, and me watching ‘Real Housewives of New York?’ I’m equally as guilty!”

“Oh, okay,” Beau says.

“Because when I come home from work or you come home from work, in my brain I’m like, ‘I hope he wants to play Zelda because I really want to watch ‘Real Housewives of New York,’” she says.

“But now, this week, what have I been saying?” Beau asks. “I want to go to the gym.”

“You just took this podcast to a dark place,” Stassi says.

“If we keep sitting on the couch, we’re just going to get flabby together, and we’ll just love each other,” Beau says. “Be cushions for the pushin’ together.”

“And just have fat sex all the time?” Stassi asks. “Yeah, it doesn’t even matter.”

“Our love will just grow,” Beau says, “As our bellies will grow.”


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