On this episode of Straight Up With Stassi, Zack Wickham joins to talk all things dating in a modern, confusing AF world.
“He 100% is a murderer.”
“Well I want to ask you… why do you think your dating life sucks?” Stassi asks Zack. “Do you think your dating life sucks?”
“I don’t think it sucks in the sense that I feel like people are attracted to me, I definitely have people talk to me and stuff, so it’s not like I’m all, ‘Oh, woe is me.’ And I definitely don’t think I’m ugly or anything like that. And I have the best personality ever and I’m funny as shit, so… And I’m definitely humble!” Zack laughs.
“Let’s just see how much longer we can go with you just complimenting yourself,” Stassi jokes.
“What? Never,” Zack says. “This is where you’re supposed to chime in and be like, ‘But Zack, you are.'”
“Uh huh,” Stassi laughs.
“So, I don’t know why, but I’ve been friend-zoned or taken out of the sexual category by multiple guys over a very short period of time,” Zack explains. “One of them, they had a past boyfriend and they still weren’t over it because it was a new breakup. Another one was probably that he was closeted and whatever. So I don’t really know the real reasons, but the fact that it was just back to back to back, doesn’t play well with the psyche or the self-esteem.”
“I know,” Stassi agrees. “I would be like, ‘Do I smell bad, do I suck in bed?’ I would have these insecurities when I was single and dating. When people would ghost me, there were times when it was right after we finally hooked up. I’d be like, ‘Oh my god, do I just really suck? Am I sexually not awesome? Do I smell bad? Did I look bad?'”
“There’s no way you would ever look bad, you’re the best lay I’ve ever had and you’re amazing,” Zack jokes. “But yeah, stuff like that. This one guy, all we did was make out. We had met as a club closed, and he came back to my house. I was just going to take him to his car the next day. All we did was make out, cuddled in bed, and woke up the next morning. He put his phone number in my phone, he texted me, whatever. He was going to move his stuff and then come back, so a couple hours later I was like, ‘Oh, I don’t know how you’re moving I’m so hungover,’ and he was like, ‘Haha beast mode.’ Then all of the sudden, he says, and this is my favorite part… ‘And hey, I just have to tell you this and get it over with. I think you’re a great guy and I thank you for bringing me to your place and sharing your bed with me. But I’d like to discontinue the sexual relationship and just be friends. I hope you’re okay with that. I was drunk last night and you’re very charming, so both of those things made it easy to have a little fling. But I no longer wish to pursue anything else sexual with you. I hope you’re understanding and are cool with it. If you no longer wish to speak to me, I also understand.'”
“What the fuck?” Stassi gasps. “That is so weird.”
“That’s not meant for a text message!” Zack says. “That’s meant for ‘Game of Thrones’ if I was putting it on a fucking scroll for a raven.”
“To fly to fuckin’ Winterfell,” Stassi agrees.
“Just ghost me at that point,” Zack says.
“Ghosting is actually underrated,” Stassi says. “Ghosting can be very efficient.”
“As long as it’s not a relationship that you’ve had for a couple of months,” Zack says.
“If you’ve just gone on a couple dates or it’s whatever… if they don’t respond to your last three texts then it’s like, ‘Okay, I got ghosted, which is fine.’ That’s way easier than to receive this fucking… how long did it take to draft that? Is it proofread?” Stassi asks.
“It’s perfect grammar, there are commas in it, everything is capitalized,” Zack says. W”hat do you say to that?”
“What did you respond?” Stassi asks.
“I was just like, ‘Totally cool and I appreciate the honesty hahaha.’ Then he goes, ‘Thanks for understanding. You have a friend in me if you ever want someone to hang out with as friends. You’re a cool person.'”
“Okay,” Stassi says. “He 100% is a murderer.”
“That mentality is what’s destroying us.”
“It’s hard out there,” Stassi says. “You have six apps right there. There are so many options. Why the fuck is anyone going to settle down? Why is anyone going to propose? I’m surprised people propose still. I really hope that I’m still in the ‘Shit Will Happen For Me’ category, like that Beau and I will actually get married and that will be a thing.”
“We’re looking for the top 10% that are not only our soulmates, but it’s mind blowing sex, mind blowing intelligent conversation, money, whatever,” Zack says. “But what we should be doing is saying, ‘Wow, I found the real perfect person—'”
“You found like 80% perfection, but the 20% is what you’re focusing on, and you think that you can just go and find somebody with 85%,” Stassi adds.
“I think we forgot to work on what we have because we’re so used to recycling,” Zack says. “Every single year it’s a new iPhone, every single year there’s a new this or that or the other. You don’t have to fix a toy or fix a phone, you get a new one. So no one’s working on relationships, because we’ve forgotten how to work on things.”
“Oh my god, I feel mind blown right now,” Stassi says.
“You’re welcome, Dr. Zack in the house,” Zack laughs. “I just thought of that today. But people just don’t realize it. They don’t spend that extra time to make something work. We’re like, ‘Nope, it’s done, I can find something better.’ That mentality is what’s destroying us.”